I knew I wanted to write today but I didn't have a clue where I was going to start or what I was going to say – okay that isn't unusual for me but stay with me. Sometimes you see/read something that makes you sit and think, something that relates to yourself even though you have no part in it. It is a strange experience, being connected to something you didn't even know had happened – then again life is strange a lot of the time.
This afternoon I received a message on Facebook, I didn't know the person who had sent it so I was immediately intrigued. About 6 months ago I wrote my own personal story in a support group, I wanted to share and hoped it may even help, in writing it I had helped myself and allowed myself to see exactly what had happened in life and how this had allowed me to grow as a person. Anyway the message I received took me by surprise, my act of clearing my own head of thought had touched another, in quite a significant way. So much so they asked for permission to use it in a book they are compiling – that part isn't relevant, but what it means is.
Once more I shall explain my ramblings.
As individuals we don't realise how much we carry around, how much we store in the back of our head thinking that while it is there that we are 'protected', that is quite the opposite to the truth. By storing things 'out of harm' we allow them to fester and increase the weight we carry. Also by locking them away and never sharing experiences, the affect they have, the way we cope with them we are preventing the chances of helping someone else.
Knowledge isn't a possession, it is a gift to be shared, a gift that others can use to help themselves through life and pass on – it never has to stop and that one experience could be the thing that creates a thousand smiles, a thousand people that will know that they aren't the only ones. It puts me in mind of a song by The Weepies – The World Spins Madly On (Youtube it), because that is exactly what it does, it spins on regardless of what we keep to ourselves or what we share but by sharing maybe we can reduce the madness slightly and allow some clarity.
I'm not suggesting for one minute that you want to tell every detail of your life to a stranger but the chances are if you need to understand something or have overcome something someone else is going through exactly the same experience and would appreciate seeing another angle, a different way of looking at it – when you stare at something for too long you can no longer focus, so having your focus sharpened can only be positive.
I suppose that is deep and meaningful enough for a Sunday, I shall now retreat back into my box until I'm called upon again.
Take care my friends.
Enjoy today, look forward tomorrow.
Sunday, 29 November 2009
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
Put The Brussels on to Boil
Time for me to put some denial aside – Christmas is coming and that is a fact. Those that know me well are aware of my usually dismissive and less than embracing attitude to the festive season. In my defence I have good reason for my usual stance, the fact that all that I value about the season has been diluted and endangered because of the materialistic world that has enveloped me. It may sound like a tired line, maybe that is because I am tired of having to peddle it each year and it seemingly fall on deaf ears.
However this year, with the encouragement of some very significant people in my life I shall attempt to embrace the events that are coming and partake in them rather than sitting on the sidelines exasperated at with what I see, I can't complain or utter any disagreement about something if I'm not doing my own bit to alter it, as is the case with anything in life.
Also I'm sat back and reviewing what surrounds me and what I see is a lot of affection for me, that puzzles me but that is because I am too critical of myself at times – so I'm told. Christmas is a time where we can express our thanks to those that stick by us through less than sunny periods, those that bring the sunshine to us throughout the year and ultimately those that life would be poorer without. Yes I'm aware that sounds like sentimental tripe but that is what I do best.
So I'm entering a brave new world by putting things in my own little piece of it back to where it used to be. I'm far from the grouch that I paint myself as at times and this is the perfect time to say thank you to those that support me, in the way I feel is most appropriate – that is the crux of it all, making it appropriate for each those that you are sharing with.
To make myself at ease at this and give it the meaning I believe it deserves it needs thought, as you know I do a lot of thinking so that shouldn't be difficult. Besides arguments to the contrary – size doesn't matter (no snickering in the cheap seats!). Christmas should be a time of sharing with each other and finding the best way to show you have actually thought about them, that you value them and their part in your life.
We shouldn't need a reason to say thank you but Christmas is one that we can make the most, even if it is in the form of a card and a personal message, that means a lot – it does to me anyway. This isn't a time to be an individual sucking on a humbug, it is time to be part of something with those that you want to be with, make the most of it, Christmas is its own gift.
I'm a little early but enjoy the festive season when it arrives my friends.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
However this year, with the encouragement of some very significant people in my life I shall attempt to embrace the events that are coming and partake in them rather than sitting on the sidelines exasperated at with what I see, I can't complain or utter any disagreement about something if I'm not doing my own bit to alter it, as is the case with anything in life.
Also I'm sat back and reviewing what surrounds me and what I see is a lot of affection for me, that puzzles me but that is because I am too critical of myself at times – so I'm told. Christmas is a time where we can express our thanks to those that stick by us through less than sunny periods, those that bring the sunshine to us throughout the year and ultimately those that life would be poorer without. Yes I'm aware that sounds like sentimental tripe but that is what I do best.
So I'm entering a brave new world by putting things in my own little piece of it back to where it used to be. I'm far from the grouch that I paint myself as at times and this is the perfect time to say thank you to those that support me, in the way I feel is most appropriate – that is the crux of it all, making it appropriate for each those that you are sharing with.
To make myself at ease at this and give it the meaning I believe it deserves it needs thought, as you know I do a lot of thinking so that shouldn't be difficult. Besides arguments to the contrary – size doesn't matter (no snickering in the cheap seats!). Christmas should be a time of sharing with each other and finding the best way to show you have actually thought about them, that you value them and their part in your life.
We shouldn't need a reason to say thank you but Christmas is one that we can make the most, even if it is in the form of a card and a personal message, that means a lot – it does to me anyway. This isn't a time to be an individual sucking on a humbug, it is time to be part of something with those that you want to be with, make the most of it, Christmas is its own gift.
I'm a little early but enjoy the festive season when it arrives my friends.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Monday, 16 November 2009
Tipping the Scales
The end of the year is fast approaching as November is quickly running out. As the nights draw in so do the walls, there is a definite claustrophobic feel in the air, never having been one to fear suffocation it is quite disorientating as I try to find the space in the ever decreasing space to breathe, to find a freedom and a chink of sunshine in the ever present grey light.
I can already hear people rifling in drawers looking for sharp implements after reading the first paragraph, stick with it, I will guide this somewhere near a sunshine ending.
Life is about balance, we live trying to keep the biggest pair of scales we will ever know, level. How ever the coming months effect my usual sunny disposition there will be a way of seeing that at the end of the day every negative is cancelled out.
When you wake you may be having a bad hair day, negative. You walk down the street someone greets you with a friendly smile, positive. That simple illustration shows where life corrects itself as it goes along. But as we sit listening to the rain pitter patter against the windows and look at the gas bill out of the corner of my eyes it is very easy to be taken away from seeing the natural balance.
The negatives of life have an ability to leap out, they hit you in the face without you having to look for it and for that reason it is easy to believe that it outweighs the positive, not true. The positive is in every corner of life, it does have a tendency to remain quiet though but it is there. It is looking out for each and every one of us, it is in each and every one of us and that is the beauty of it – we can share it with each other.
I really don't have my usual flurry of words at the moment but I have the simple message – by making someone else smile you help to balance their scales, taking away their grey cold November feeling. We are here to help each other, it only takes a kind word, one of the most valuable gifts we possess.
My return has been short and sweet but maybe it leave you with something to think about.
As ever, take care my friends.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
I can already hear people rifling in drawers looking for sharp implements after reading the first paragraph, stick with it, I will guide this somewhere near a sunshine ending.
Life is about balance, we live trying to keep the biggest pair of scales we will ever know, level. How ever the coming months effect my usual sunny disposition there will be a way of seeing that at the end of the day every negative is cancelled out.
When you wake you may be having a bad hair day, negative. You walk down the street someone greets you with a friendly smile, positive. That simple illustration shows where life corrects itself as it goes along. But as we sit listening to the rain pitter patter against the windows and look at the gas bill out of the corner of my eyes it is very easy to be taken away from seeing the natural balance.
The negatives of life have an ability to leap out, they hit you in the face without you having to look for it and for that reason it is easy to believe that it outweighs the positive, not true. The positive is in every corner of life, it does have a tendency to remain quiet though but it is there. It is looking out for each and every one of us, it is in each and every one of us and that is the beauty of it – we can share it with each other.
I really don't have my usual flurry of words at the moment but I have the simple message – by making someone else smile you help to balance their scales, taking away their grey cold November feeling. We are here to help each other, it only takes a kind word, one of the most valuable gifts we possess.
My return has been short and sweet but maybe it leave you with something to think about.
As ever, take care my friends.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Black and White
Despite the time of year I haven't actually gone into hibernation although my absence from here may say otherwise. Truth be told I am far from hibernating at the moment, I am more full of life than I have been in a very long time, spring has very definitely sprung (continuing from my last entry).
Time for me to start making some sense, something that can be very rare in my world.
I often talk about language and the words we choose to use, I am about to do it once more but from a very different angle. Come with me as I try and fathom why we make life more complicated than we need to – another common theme.
There are 2 very different ways of talking, saying things and hoping someone picks up on what you mean and then there is being direct, removing all the fancy wrapping that isn't needed. I am guilty of talking in riddles a lot of the time, I will probably do it right now but it really doesn't need to be that way.
If I want a loaf of bread I never ask for a flour and yeast product that goes well with jam, how ridiculous would that sound? I could never expect anyone to take me seriously or be clear to what I wanted if I was to do that, so why do I do the same thing at important moments? Why can we never dispense with abstract descriptions and say it how it is? The fact of the matter it is such a natural way for me, maybe it is some form of protection that I do it without even noticing.
Yesterday I was pushed over to the other side – the straight talking side, the difference it made was quite remarkable.
After 21(ish) years of never allowing my words to be obvious making the message hard to decipher I discovered a whole new world. It did take a certain someone to beat it out of me but the result made me sit up, it opened my mind to a new simpler world.
If you want something you can't rely on others to do your thinking for you, you can't expect everyone to be a mind reader, you have to meet them halfway. To move forward we have to find that little bit of bravery that is inside of each and every one of us somewhere. Look for it, it is there to help you, believe that it will serve you well.
The sun is shining bright in my world today even though it is dark outside, that is because I cast aside a habit of a life time and let my words be plain, simple – I let them be black and white. The way I was repaid for doing that can't be put into words at the moment but trust me it was worth it.
Fancy words may add some protection but they won't help you be understood, think black and white then colour flood your world like it has mine.
I shall skip off for now and leave you to reflect.
Enjoy today, look forward tomorrow
Time for me to start making some sense, something that can be very rare in my world.
I often talk about language and the words we choose to use, I am about to do it once more but from a very different angle. Come with me as I try and fathom why we make life more complicated than we need to – another common theme.
There are 2 very different ways of talking, saying things and hoping someone picks up on what you mean and then there is being direct, removing all the fancy wrapping that isn't needed. I am guilty of talking in riddles a lot of the time, I will probably do it right now but it really doesn't need to be that way.
If I want a loaf of bread I never ask for a flour and yeast product that goes well with jam, how ridiculous would that sound? I could never expect anyone to take me seriously or be clear to what I wanted if I was to do that, so why do I do the same thing at important moments? Why can we never dispense with abstract descriptions and say it how it is? The fact of the matter it is such a natural way for me, maybe it is some form of protection that I do it without even noticing.
Yesterday I was pushed over to the other side – the straight talking side, the difference it made was quite remarkable.
After 21(ish) years of never allowing my words to be obvious making the message hard to decipher I discovered a whole new world. It did take a certain someone to beat it out of me but the result made me sit up, it opened my mind to a new simpler world.
If you want something you can't rely on others to do your thinking for you, you can't expect everyone to be a mind reader, you have to meet them halfway. To move forward we have to find that little bit of bravery that is inside of each and every one of us somewhere. Look for it, it is there to help you, believe that it will serve you well.
The sun is shining bright in my world today even though it is dark outside, that is because I cast aside a habit of a life time and let my words be plain, simple – I let them be black and white. The way I was repaid for doing that can't be put into words at the moment but trust me it was worth it.
Fancy words may add some protection but they won't help you be understood, think black and white then colour flood your world like it has mine.
I shall skip off for now and leave you to reflect.
Enjoy today, look forward tomorrow
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Four Seasons in One Day
The frequency of my rambling seems to be decreasing at an alarming rate, alas I'm hoping the randomness of my pondering will continue at the same level as ever. So here I am on an autumnal Sunday afternoon feeling quite windswept – it goes with the season, ready to pass on another of my pearls of 'wisdom'. Are you sitting comfortably?
I shall begin.
As I've already alluded to autumn is well and truly with us, the leaves litter roads and pavements as Mother Nature begins its transitional period, ready to recharge its batteries over the winter months. Autumn is actually one of my favourite seasons along with spring, it signals the closure of summer and a time of tranquillity, if anything it is a reflective period – time to look back on what has been there and won't be seen again for a few months. The thing about seasons is they are neat and tidy, they happen at the same time each year, you know what to expect and can prepare for them.
Our life isn't quite as organised, we can't predict when our 'seasons' will come or how long they will last, as someone said to me last night “Mother Nature has had more time”, this is true and also nature is far more stable whereas we don't know how we will feel tomorrow, sometimes it is hard to fathom how we feel today. Could we prepare ourselves in the same way as nature? Can we collect what we need to see us through the harshness of our winter and resurface in spring ready with boundless energy to start again?
During our summers we feel like every day the sun will shine, the good times will never cease, a time where most of us would happily stay without question or complaint alas seasons change and we never appear to be quite ready to change our habits accordingly or to find our way back to where we want to be. As I've already mentioned my favourite season is spring, that is where I am now (told you that we don't follow nature).
So what is spring? Spring is coming out of a long hiatus when everything around looks so bleak, the days are endless and the light seldom shines. Spring is the blossoming of new life (I'm not pregnant so don't call the papers), in a nutshell it is the return of a happiness and a smile that hasn't been seen in a while. It is looking around and being happy with all that you see. To me it is a time to enjoy and cherish, it is the season to hold on to.
The question that remain for me are, why can't we hold onto to the season we want? The cycle of nature is needed to maintain the world we live in but do we need to put ourselves through the same cycle especially as our version is so unpredictable?
While I enjoy spring I shall leave you to ponder.
Take care everyone.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
I shall begin.
As I've already alluded to autumn is well and truly with us, the leaves litter roads and pavements as Mother Nature begins its transitional period, ready to recharge its batteries over the winter months. Autumn is actually one of my favourite seasons along with spring, it signals the closure of summer and a time of tranquillity, if anything it is a reflective period – time to look back on what has been there and won't be seen again for a few months. The thing about seasons is they are neat and tidy, they happen at the same time each year, you know what to expect and can prepare for them.
Our life isn't quite as organised, we can't predict when our 'seasons' will come or how long they will last, as someone said to me last night “Mother Nature has had more time”, this is true and also nature is far more stable whereas we don't know how we will feel tomorrow, sometimes it is hard to fathom how we feel today. Could we prepare ourselves in the same way as nature? Can we collect what we need to see us through the harshness of our winter and resurface in spring ready with boundless energy to start again?
During our summers we feel like every day the sun will shine, the good times will never cease, a time where most of us would happily stay without question or complaint alas seasons change and we never appear to be quite ready to change our habits accordingly or to find our way back to where we want to be. As I've already mentioned my favourite season is spring, that is where I am now (told you that we don't follow nature).
So what is spring? Spring is coming out of a long hiatus when everything around looks so bleak, the days are endless and the light seldom shines. Spring is the blossoming of new life (I'm not pregnant so don't call the papers), in a nutshell it is the return of a happiness and a smile that hasn't been seen in a while. It is looking around and being happy with all that you see. To me it is a time to enjoy and cherish, it is the season to hold on to.
The question that remain for me are, why can't we hold onto to the season we want? The cycle of nature is needed to maintain the world we live in but do we need to put ourselves through the same cycle especially as our version is so unpredictable?
While I enjoy spring I shall leave you to ponder.
Take care everyone.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Thursday, 24 September 2009
The Winning Ticket
Good afternoon all, I am still here despite the infrequency of my posts recently. The great hamster wheel of life has been turning and I've been unable to get off, an experience I am sure that you are all familiar with. Whilst I have been furiously been trying to prevent myself from falling off the wheel I have had a lot of time for reflection, a lot of time to face fears and ultimately get to what I am going to share today.
Sometimes it is easier to look at the floor than look ahead, because you just don't want to see what is there – something I have been guilty of many times over the years. Recently I've had no choice but to look directly at the horizon and stand up to what I saw before me. I'm not going to pretend that was easy and that I didn't slip from my usually sunny disposition because I did, several times, only to be caught by the good people that I have in my life which brings me onto the fact I was born lucky.
Define the word luck, I can bet if we all did it we all would come up with totally different definitions. When people first get to know me there is a tendency for people to think I have been terribly unlucky in life, that couldn't be further from the truth. I have always been told 'what doesn't break you makes you stronger', isn't that the truth.
My definition of luck has nothing to do with winning the lottery or anything along the lines of material enrichment, as you would of known if you had read my blog before. Having a life rich in love, opportunity and chances is what I see as luck – that is what I have. In my world luck isn't anything unexpected, it is something always present normally without recognition. Look around you now, go through your mobile phone, think of what you did last weekend – all the people that you know, share life with, who want to share part of their life with you doesn't that show how lucky we all are?
I am now through the other side of the tunnel I have been walking down for the last few weeks, I'm through it because I had luck on my side once again. As difficult as it is to accept the offer of someone holding your hand at times it is one of the greatest gifts that can ever be offered, it is part of the good fortune we have been blessed with. It isn't possible to go through life without tripping over sometimes but remember before you fall to look at what surrounds you and you will soon be upright and strolling once more. Believe me, it is the truth.
The phrase goes 'pick a penny up and have good luck all day' – I must pick up a penny every single day of my life.
Take care my friends.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Sometimes it is easier to look at the floor than look ahead, because you just don't want to see what is there – something I have been guilty of many times over the years. Recently I've had no choice but to look directly at the horizon and stand up to what I saw before me. I'm not going to pretend that was easy and that I didn't slip from my usually sunny disposition because I did, several times, only to be caught by the good people that I have in my life which brings me onto the fact I was born lucky.
Define the word luck, I can bet if we all did it we all would come up with totally different definitions. When people first get to know me there is a tendency for people to think I have been terribly unlucky in life, that couldn't be further from the truth. I have always been told 'what doesn't break you makes you stronger', isn't that the truth.
My definition of luck has nothing to do with winning the lottery or anything along the lines of material enrichment, as you would of known if you had read my blog before. Having a life rich in love, opportunity and chances is what I see as luck – that is what I have. In my world luck isn't anything unexpected, it is something always present normally without recognition. Look around you now, go through your mobile phone, think of what you did last weekend – all the people that you know, share life with, who want to share part of their life with you doesn't that show how lucky we all are?
I am now through the other side of the tunnel I have been walking down for the last few weeks, I'm through it because I had luck on my side once again. As difficult as it is to accept the offer of someone holding your hand at times it is one of the greatest gifts that can ever be offered, it is part of the good fortune we have been blessed with. It isn't possible to go through life without tripping over sometimes but remember before you fall to look at what surrounds you and you will soon be upright and strolling once more. Believe me, it is the truth.
The phrase goes 'pick a penny up and have good luck all day' – I must pick up a penny every single day of my life.
Take care my friends.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Thursday, 10 September 2009
Say What You See
In my world, especially in my blogs not many things follow on, I tend to bob around changing subjects as often as I change my socks – prepare yourself for a surprise. Okay it is in my own unique style but today's offering does continue (in a fashion) where my last entry left off.
Last time I spoke about the way we over complicate the world we live in, forget about how much simpler things can be, today I continue with a subject that highly agitates me and adds to the difficulty of life whilst masquerading as being helpful.
I am talking about the world of political correctness along with the abandonment of common sense. If I asked anyone to describe me there would be certain words that I would expect to be used, one of those being – short. A harmless little word and also very accurate but not in today's world apparently now that is highly offensive and will have me crumpled like I've been mortally wounded by it. Well that is if you listen to the political correctness brigade – absolute tripe!
Lets get some perspective back into the world, I'm far from old but I do remember a time when you could call a spade a spade without fear of recriminations. Common sense still existed in those distant times. If I tripped over a pavement that made me clumsy and caused a few laughs for those that witnessed it, not now. If I was to trip over a pavement as I left the house today I would be informed that someone was to blame for it, that I needed compensating for my 'ordeal' – again more tripe!
Is this what the world has come to? The need to apportion blame to any unfortunate incident. Whatever happened to brushing yourself down cursing at the pavement and carrying on regardless? All I can see arising from the culture of madness that is cultivated today is a fear in each and every one of us. The fear of each of our actions opening the possibility of us being blamed, becoming the guilty party despite having done nothing untoward.
As I've said before words have always been difficult enough but now they are pitfalls for each and everyone of us, words that have previously been accepted as containing no malice become vilified, if it was become the majority found them offensive it would be acceptable enough alas it isn't, it is a case of those who 'know better' instructing us on what language people want to hear, to be perfectly honest the politically correct language offends me so if you don't mind whilst addressing me say it as it is. Thank you.
If only it stopped there, but as you will know only too well it doesn't. Each action is censored, George Orwell now appears to of been a prophet, I am a strange character that much is true but I still believe that the majority don't need instruction on the 'best way' but then again I didn't think the Golliwog needed removing from Robertson jam jars, so am I out of touch? Or is it more of a case of too much cotton wool suffocates rather than protects?
Something for you all to ponder.
Take care my friends
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Saturday, 5 September 2009
Young Eyes
Firstly I want to get something out of the way before I carry on with my ramblings. My last entry was the low point of this blog and it will remain that way, I will endeavour to not post anything so bereft of substance and meaning again – if I do please tell me and I will do my utmost to atone for it.
You may of noticed that I have left the ramblings alone since that entry, the reason for this is quite simple – I was swinging from high to low, sometimes simultaneously therefore I would of struggled to write my own name let alone anything worthy of sharing with everyone else. Anyway here I am now and I believe I have something worthy of you, my reader.
Let 'normality' resume.
As I picked up niece from nursery yesterday and we skipped (literally, ask the witnesses) down the road I saw by looking at her exactly why life seems to be so difficult the majority of the time – the older we get the more we over complicate it. That little girl, that girl that I treasure so dearly shows each time in bright neon lights that we don't have to let life become so hard.
I'm not suggesting for a moment that we can remain as a 3 year old for eternity, as nice as it would be. What I am suggesting is that we can learn a lot from their outlook, the simplistic nature of their world and try and preserve some of elements rather than shedding them like an old skin that we no longer need, because we need it more than we realise.
There appears to be a switch in the brain that is triggered once we reach a certain age, once it is activated each simple task becomes a series of little problems and you are no longer able to simply concentrate on the task ahead without allowing an avalanche of other questions coming tumbling down upon you.
If a young child is hungry they go to the fridge and find food, their hunger is dealt with and they are happy. Contrast that with a 'grown up' doing exactly the same thing. The fridge is opened, we then think of the lack of food in there, the need to replenish it and just how we are going to afford it. What started as one of the simplest things possible has now snowballed in a problem, another weight that we carry with us.
The question is, is it really necessary for us to put all the extra burden on ourselves? Or is it possible to take each piece at a time taking bitesize problems rather than causing ourselves indigestion. Take 5 minutes to look at a young child go on their merry way, a step at a time, no need to think about more than that 1 thing at a time.
Before I'm shot down with people saying “life isn't that simple”, that sentence encapsulates everything I've been saying. Life will never be easy entirely but it can be made easier. Living in the present is harder than living in the future but dealing with the here and now will make what comes later that bit more manageable.
Go out of the door, skip down the street and leave the baggage on the doorstep, at that point you will realise how much lighter you can feel and remember how you once felt before you started piling on the worries.
Take care everyone.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
You may of noticed that I have left the ramblings alone since that entry, the reason for this is quite simple – I was swinging from high to low, sometimes simultaneously therefore I would of struggled to write my own name let alone anything worthy of sharing with everyone else. Anyway here I am now and I believe I have something worthy of you, my reader.
Let 'normality' resume.
As I picked up niece from nursery yesterday and we skipped (literally, ask the witnesses) down the road I saw by looking at her exactly why life seems to be so difficult the majority of the time – the older we get the more we over complicate it. That little girl, that girl that I treasure so dearly shows each time in bright neon lights that we don't have to let life become so hard.
I'm not suggesting for a moment that we can remain as a 3 year old for eternity, as nice as it would be. What I am suggesting is that we can learn a lot from their outlook, the simplistic nature of their world and try and preserve some of elements rather than shedding them like an old skin that we no longer need, because we need it more than we realise.
There appears to be a switch in the brain that is triggered once we reach a certain age, once it is activated each simple task becomes a series of little problems and you are no longer able to simply concentrate on the task ahead without allowing an avalanche of other questions coming tumbling down upon you.
If a young child is hungry they go to the fridge and find food, their hunger is dealt with and they are happy. Contrast that with a 'grown up' doing exactly the same thing. The fridge is opened, we then think of the lack of food in there, the need to replenish it and just how we are going to afford it. What started as one of the simplest things possible has now snowballed in a problem, another weight that we carry with us.
The question is, is it really necessary for us to put all the extra burden on ourselves? Or is it possible to take each piece at a time taking bitesize problems rather than causing ourselves indigestion. Take 5 minutes to look at a young child go on their merry way, a step at a time, no need to think about more than that 1 thing at a time.
Before I'm shot down with people saying “life isn't that simple”, that sentence encapsulates everything I've been saying. Life will never be easy entirely but it can be made easier. Living in the present is harder than living in the future but dealing with the here and now will make what comes later that bit more manageable.
Go out of the door, skip down the street and leave the baggage on the doorstep, at that point you will realise how much lighter you can feel and remember how you once felt before you started piling on the worries.
Take care everyone.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
At Our Fingertips
This weekend I will once more brave the British railway system, I suppose I should view it with affection as it is one of the few things that hasn't changed with the advent of the 21st Century, it is as still as inefficient as I have always remembered. As I contemplate the treacherous adventure that is in front of me I began to think of the differences that have happened in my lifetime and the impact that they have made.
I have very little idea who reads my blog (that is about to change) but I know for fact that there will be a young lady in Canada taking in each and every word – something that I wouldn't even of been able to imagine 15 years ago, then came the technological revolution.
You can only know what you are taught, told and experience and that's where the technological advances of the past decade or so have changed everything. Growing up as I did in the 80's, I sampled a slow change in what was available to everyone but the most I knew about other cultures and different ways of life was the next door neighbour telling tales of a week in Benidorm or the through the media – my next point.
When you can't see you have a reliance on others to paint the picture for you, that is what the media did for everyone until quite recently. How would I know what America was like without someone telling me? How would I know what Americans were like without someone else informing me? Simply there was no way hence all trust was put in second hand opinionated information. Ask any two people to describe the same thing, you will get two different answers – that is why we need to find out for ourselves.
I tend to appear that I have a very low opinion of the modern world and all the contraptions that come with it but that isn't strictly true. There won't be an invention with such a far reaching affect than the internet in my lifetime, I will probably be proven wrong now I've said that. The internet has opened the largest opportunity for discovery and knowledge that has ever been available.
It is as easy to communicate with someone on the next continent as it is on the next street, more importantly the barriers of discovery and understanding have been removed and stereotypes can be cast to the wayside exactly where they belong. The world now has a very real opportunity to unite itself by each individual undertaking their own investigations into how the world as a whole relates to them, who they can relate to and what they can learn from the new insights.
As an individual I often wonder why certain events happen, want to understand the significance of them but looking from afar with diluted knowledge that had always been difficult, that changed the day the world was given the chance to metaphorically hold hands.
No longer do we need to accept what we are told to be the truth, experiences are literally at the fingertips and the expansion of our knowledge is only limited by ourselves. As I said at the top of the piece my words will be beamed across as far as Canada, these words won't be interpreted by someone else before they get there, the meaning won't be warped.
As I prepare to step back in time I doth my cap to the advances of the modern day.
Good night everyone
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
I have very little idea who reads my blog (that is about to change) but I know for fact that there will be a young lady in Canada taking in each and every word – something that I wouldn't even of been able to imagine 15 years ago, then came the technological revolution.
You can only know what you are taught, told and experience and that's where the technological advances of the past decade or so have changed everything. Growing up as I did in the 80's, I sampled a slow change in what was available to everyone but the most I knew about other cultures and different ways of life was the next door neighbour telling tales of a week in Benidorm or the through the media – my next point.
When you can't see you have a reliance on others to paint the picture for you, that is what the media did for everyone until quite recently. How would I know what America was like without someone telling me? How would I know what Americans were like without someone else informing me? Simply there was no way hence all trust was put in second hand opinionated information. Ask any two people to describe the same thing, you will get two different answers – that is why we need to find out for ourselves.
I tend to appear that I have a very low opinion of the modern world and all the contraptions that come with it but that isn't strictly true. There won't be an invention with such a far reaching affect than the internet in my lifetime, I will probably be proven wrong now I've said that. The internet has opened the largest opportunity for discovery and knowledge that has ever been available.
It is as easy to communicate with someone on the next continent as it is on the next street, more importantly the barriers of discovery and understanding have been removed and stereotypes can be cast to the wayside exactly where they belong. The world now has a very real opportunity to unite itself by each individual undertaking their own investigations into how the world as a whole relates to them, who they can relate to and what they can learn from the new insights.
As an individual I often wonder why certain events happen, want to understand the significance of them but looking from afar with diluted knowledge that had always been difficult, that changed the day the world was given the chance to metaphorically hold hands.
No longer do we need to accept what we are told to be the truth, experiences are literally at the fingertips and the expansion of our knowledge is only limited by ourselves. As I said at the top of the piece my words will be beamed across as far as Canada, these words won't be interpreted by someone else before they get there, the meaning won't be warped.
As I prepare to step back in time I doth my cap to the advances of the modern day.
Good night everyone
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Monday, 24 August 2009
Small Words, Big Meaning
I often use a variety of words in my posts as you would of noticed, I have have great appreciation and quite a efficient understanding of words. The English language has such depth to it and so many options for saying the same thing. Alas after 30 years there is still one word I haven't quite grasped, its definitive meaning evades me and I wonder if I will ever have a full understanding of it.
I shall begin by quoting Massive Attack “love is a verb, love is a doing word”. Yes boys and girls that is today's subject – the most fluid and difficult word I know. Every day that word is spoken by nearly each and every one of us and in all likelihood it meant differently each and every time. It changes form every time it is spoken by whomever it is spoken. It doesn't have a 'solid' form hence my confusion and my cautious relationship with it.
The biggest unanswered question I know is, what is love? Frankly I have never come even close to discovering the answer, whenever I believe I have taken a step closer to it I realise that I have merely found another dimension. Therein lies my problem – I have yet to fully explore each dimension and understand what it means to others.
I have many issues revolving around my poor grasp of the concept that a word can change from person to person, from one minute to the next. When a word is used as liberally as confetti the natural thought process would say it would be devalued but in the case of love it breaks all rules, it builds in power every time it is used rather than becoming cheapened. This defiance of logic probably explains why it perplexes me so much.
I love the smell of freshly baked bread, I love my mum – two statements that couldn't be further apart in meaning but yet they are united by the same word. Each time that word is uttered to another it is meant uniquely for that person, it won't be used in the same way again, but how do we decipher how it is meant? How do we decipher how we mean it? Love is the one word that only gives me questions without yielding a single answer.
It is apparently never used lightly, if this the case why is it used so often? Does it ever sit still and remain the same or is it constantly evolving? After 30 years of sharing my life with a word, I still know it no better than the stranger on the street. On the occasions that it used towards me I believe I know how it is meant, I want to believe I understand but as I have said before the actual meaning and what it perceived by the recipient are often two very different things.
Maybe there is an element of trying too hard to define everything, wanting everything to tidy without any fuzzy ages but then again that probably isn't living in the real world – everything has an element of a fuzzy edge, slightly out of focus. I'm now beginning to think that I should stop searching for the answers as that makes the journey of discovery that bit harder. Maybe we all try too hard to define every emotion.
Love isn't a standalone emotion, it is the result of a myriad of other feelings. The difference in each of these feelings effect the result, effect what one expresses to another.
I am now a step forward, perhaps.
Thankyou for your time everyone. Take care.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
I shall begin by quoting Massive Attack “love is a verb, love is a doing word”. Yes boys and girls that is today's subject – the most fluid and difficult word I know. Every day that word is spoken by nearly each and every one of us and in all likelihood it meant differently each and every time. It changes form every time it is spoken by whomever it is spoken. It doesn't have a 'solid' form hence my confusion and my cautious relationship with it.
The biggest unanswered question I know is, what is love? Frankly I have never come even close to discovering the answer, whenever I believe I have taken a step closer to it I realise that I have merely found another dimension. Therein lies my problem – I have yet to fully explore each dimension and understand what it means to others.
I have many issues revolving around my poor grasp of the concept that a word can change from person to person, from one minute to the next. When a word is used as liberally as confetti the natural thought process would say it would be devalued but in the case of love it breaks all rules, it builds in power every time it is used rather than becoming cheapened. This defiance of logic probably explains why it perplexes me so much.
I love the smell of freshly baked bread, I love my mum – two statements that couldn't be further apart in meaning but yet they are united by the same word. Each time that word is uttered to another it is meant uniquely for that person, it won't be used in the same way again, but how do we decipher how it is meant? How do we decipher how we mean it? Love is the one word that only gives me questions without yielding a single answer.
It is apparently never used lightly, if this the case why is it used so often? Does it ever sit still and remain the same or is it constantly evolving? After 30 years of sharing my life with a word, I still know it no better than the stranger on the street. On the occasions that it used towards me I believe I know how it is meant, I want to believe I understand but as I have said before the actual meaning and what it perceived by the recipient are often two very different things.
Maybe there is an element of trying too hard to define everything, wanting everything to tidy without any fuzzy ages but then again that probably isn't living in the real world – everything has an element of a fuzzy edge, slightly out of focus. I'm now beginning to think that I should stop searching for the answers as that makes the journey of discovery that bit harder. Maybe we all try too hard to define every emotion.
Love isn't a standalone emotion, it is the result of a myriad of other feelings. The difference in each of these feelings effect the result, effect what one expresses to another.
I am now a step forward, perhaps.
Thankyou for your time everyone. Take care.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Sunday, 23 August 2009
To Dream A Dream
I like Sundays, genuinely I do. There is something highly relaxing about them, the slow and predictable nature of them is highly comforting to me. I have a Sunday routine, actually I have a routine for most days but particularly Sunday. Part of my routine is going to my mothers for dinner, obviously this is a highlight and it also saves me having to put any real effort in (I do the washing up though).There is one downside to me idyllic Sunday – I have to watch whatever my mother has recorded on Saturday, which this time of year means X Factor.
Before you try and second guess me this isn't a rant about reality television or even low grade 'made for the masses' programmes. As I watched the shots of the crowds gathered all with a common dream being beamed into my mothers living room my mind turned to the human spirit.
Let me explain, I think you may need it.
Anyone that has watched these talent shows will know that each and every one of the contestants have an unshakable belief in their own ability – whether accurate or not. Of course we laugh and smile as we see those that we believe to be talentless or cringeworthy but shouldn't we actually be admiring them?
These people turn up knowing what they want from life, it may seem to be a pie in the sky dream but they are there to give it their best shot. How easy is it to think something is too hard or unattainable to even bother trying? Very is the answer, it is the easiest thing in the world to not try, it is much harder to go after what you want the most and keep self belief. Dreams, hope and goals are a reason for tomorrow.
No-one wants to be told that they aren't good enough, human confidence is brittle and it does look like we seek to fracture the confidence of others when we really should be working together to help each other. I know that's easy to say, but think about it how deep does one disparaging remark go? Even if a dream may be hard to achieve the journey taken trying to achieve it is the most important part.
It takes incredible strength of character to continue towards a goal when people are trying to take you away from it, repeating to yourself that you can strive on when the majority believe you will fall by the wayside quickly.
As I watched another contestant take their place on the audition stage I was almost envious, not that I want to face Simon Cowell as I know I can't hold a tune in a bucket but I do want to have that lack of fear, to say come what may I will do exactly as I want and not to take the easy option. There is no reward when you say 'I wanted to' but there is a lot to be taken from trying.
We all look back at what we have achieved, how many ticks we have on our to do list and the more that we have marked off the easier it makes trying in the future. When someone tells you their dream how do you react? How much thought do you give to how your reaction will effect them? Remember one encouraging word will be a step further towards achieving, it is much easier to know that you have support than walking a lonely path.
Food for thought on a Sunday evening.
Take care everyone
Enjoy today, look forward to tomoorow.
Thursday, 20 August 2009
Times For Heroes
Wandering aimlessly around the supermarket doesn't usually inspire, in fact it usually drives me slightly crazy (no comments!) but that is exactly what happened this morning. It wasn't the 'special' offers that caught my attention though, it was the music drifting across speakers. I heard the gruff bark of Van Morrison – a musical legend if there ever was and there was a seed set in my head.
Sometimes I seriously believe I was born at the wrong time as I survey what is commonplace in the 21st century, I struggle to relate with modern concepts and the basis on which they are built. I have already mentioned George Ivan Morrison, the man that I regularly refer to as the man I would like to adopt me, as he is somewhat a 'hero' to me and here comes my point of my post.
As much as I respect a man's music and his style he can't be a real hero to me. How can writing music make him a hero? What is the grounding for that claim? Hero is a word that is now banded about far too easily, apparently David Beckham is a hero, how is that? He kicks a football and many enjoy watching him but his actions are never going to shape the person you become or maybe they are – my problem with the 21st century.
This could quite possibly be me and my unenlightened view but I fail to see where an idol becomes a hero, in my world they are 2 very different things. I can fully comprehend why someone admires the song writing skills of Van Morrison or the footballing skills of Mr Beckham, I can see why people would want to emulate their achievements but would possessing those skills make you a better person?
We live in a time where too many false qualities have been created, the importance of certain virtues have been put on the back burner and devalued. Level of fame, exposure and material wealth outweigh personal attributes that make each and every one of us. The creation of new 'heroes' has blurred the lines for many, especially those that are still developing, no longer is the focus on core values and what I accept to be indispensable life qualities.
Looking once more with my simplistic outlook I ask what should we be looking in our heroes. Is being in the public eye and having wealth more important than moral fibre, respect and courage? Self worth is what we all need to strive towards but I don't believe that can be achieved whilst we are distracted by the unattainable, the falsehoods of modern society.
I do have a hero, he has never lifted the World Cup or sold a million records but he has done something infinitely more important – he has been a model of the person I want to become, morally rich with compassion for all. My idol is my grandfather, a finer man I have never met, if I am half the man he is then I'm very happy.
I have mentioned stepping back and assessing what really counts before, this is very much a case in point. We all have a need for aspirations but there is no need for these to be at the expense of vital components, the basic values that are attainable by all. I see little need to look into the unknown for false heroes when there will be very real ones on your doorstep.
Who would of thought a piece of music in a supermarket could trigger such a chain of thought!
Take care everyone
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow
Sometimes I seriously believe I was born at the wrong time as I survey what is commonplace in the 21st century, I struggle to relate with modern concepts and the basis on which they are built. I have already mentioned George Ivan Morrison, the man that I regularly refer to as the man I would like to adopt me, as he is somewhat a 'hero' to me and here comes my point of my post.
As much as I respect a man's music and his style he can't be a real hero to me. How can writing music make him a hero? What is the grounding for that claim? Hero is a word that is now banded about far too easily, apparently David Beckham is a hero, how is that? He kicks a football and many enjoy watching him but his actions are never going to shape the person you become or maybe they are – my problem with the 21st century.
This could quite possibly be me and my unenlightened view but I fail to see where an idol becomes a hero, in my world they are 2 very different things. I can fully comprehend why someone admires the song writing skills of Van Morrison or the footballing skills of Mr Beckham, I can see why people would want to emulate their achievements but would possessing those skills make you a better person?
We live in a time where too many false qualities have been created, the importance of certain virtues have been put on the back burner and devalued. Level of fame, exposure and material wealth outweigh personal attributes that make each and every one of us. The creation of new 'heroes' has blurred the lines for many, especially those that are still developing, no longer is the focus on core values and what I accept to be indispensable life qualities.
Looking once more with my simplistic outlook I ask what should we be looking in our heroes. Is being in the public eye and having wealth more important than moral fibre, respect and courage? Self worth is what we all need to strive towards but I don't believe that can be achieved whilst we are distracted by the unattainable, the falsehoods of modern society.
I do have a hero, he has never lifted the World Cup or sold a million records but he has done something infinitely more important – he has been a model of the person I want to become, morally rich with compassion for all. My idol is my grandfather, a finer man I have never met, if I am half the man he is then I'm very happy.
I have mentioned stepping back and assessing what really counts before, this is very much a case in point. We all have a need for aspirations but there is no need for these to be at the expense of vital components, the basic values that are attainable by all. I see little need to look into the unknown for false heroes when there will be very real ones on your doorstep.
Who would of thought a piece of music in a supermarket could trigger such a chain of thought!
Take care everyone
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
The Band Will Play On
I've written enough of these blogs now for anyone that reads them to have an insight into my world and the many muddled thoughts that go through this old head of mine. I have also made it quite clear or at least I have tried to make it clear what is important to me. The one thing that I have neglected to mention so far is my constant companion, my mood monitor and my reminder of people places and events.
Today my friends I am talking about music, very much my second heartbeat. I can't go anywhere without it, on an empty road I will never be alone as long as I have it with me. At the times that I want to remember, at the times I want to forget I always know where I will find my answer. There is something magical about the escapism it can give but not only is it an escape for me at times it acts like the greatest motivational tool I know.
If someone wants to know who I am or see a representation of what makes me, delve into my music collection or look at what I am listening to at that moment in time. When words evade me I know I have something to turn to, something that asks no questions but can put me back on the right path, correct me so I can move in a forward direction once more.
It is said that you can't keep a moment forever but music allows me to do exactly that, as soon as certain songs kick in I am transported, transported to places that I have once been and the re-enactment can seem to be so real, the feelings return as they were before, I believe I have never left it behind. It happened to me only yesterday, I had my media player on shuffle as a song popped up, a song that I attach a thousand emotions a to, bam there I go swimming in every memory like it was happening all over again. As negative as I may be painting this picture at the moment it is quite the contrary.
The way I see it these visits to the past aided by music allow me to see what I have forgotten, the good and the bad. A reminder that will aid and guide me, give me the metaphorical kick when I need it the most.
Leave behind the memories it can trigger and consider just how much it bonds – music is the worlds strongest glue. It can bind friendships together, think of each significant occasion in a persons life and what is prominent at each and every one.
If I want to drift away and let my body and mind go to separate places, I will dig out my Sigur Ros, Bon Iver or something similar. If I want to drown in noise to block everything out I turn to something like Nirvana, iForward Russia!. If I want I want to laugh along I have the Lancashire Hotpots. In short the possibilities with music are endless. It will never let you down.
In the words of John Miles “To live without my music would be impossible to do In this world of troubles, my music pulls me through”.Just a couple of lines sum up what I've tried to say in a few hundred words – the power of music.
Josh Pyke is going too take me through the rest of the night, you will have to work out what that says about how I am feeling right now, the clues are there.
Take care everyone
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow
Today my friends I am talking about music, very much my second heartbeat. I can't go anywhere without it, on an empty road I will never be alone as long as I have it with me. At the times that I want to remember, at the times I want to forget I always know where I will find my answer. There is something magical about the escapism it can give but not only is it an escape for me at times it acts like the greatest motivational tool I know.
If someone wants to know who I am or see a representation of what makes me, delve into my music collection or look at what I am listening to at that moment in time. When words evade me I know I have something to turn to, something that asks no questions but can put me back on the right path, correct me so I can move in a forward direction once more.
It is said that you can't keep a moment forever but music allows me to do exactly that, as soon as certain songs kick in I am transported, transported to places that I have once been and the re-enactment can seem to be so real, the feelings return as they were before, I believe I have never left it behind. It happened to me only yesterday, I had my media player on shuffle as a song popped up, a song that I attach a thousand emotions a to, bam there I go swimming in every memory like it was happening all over again. As negative as I may be painting this picture at the moment it is quite the contrary.
The way I see it these visits to the past aided by music allow me to see what I have forgotten, the good and the bad. A reminder that will aid and guide me, give me the metaphorical kick when I need it the most.
Leave behind the memories it can trigger and consider just how much it bonds – music is the worlds strongest glue. It can bind friendships together, think of each significant occasion in a persons life and what is prominent at each and every one.
If I want to drift away and let my body and mind go to separate places, I will dig out my Sigur Ros, Bon Iver or something similar. If I want to drown in noise to block everything out I turn to something like Nirvana, iForward Russia!. If I want I want to laugh along I have the Lancashire Hotpots. In short the possibilities with music are endless. It will never let you down.
In the words of John Miles “To live without my music would be impossible to do In this world of troubles, my music pulls me through”.Just a couple of lines sum up what I've tried to say in a few hundred words – the power of music.
Josh Pyke is going too take me through the rest of the night, you will have to work out what that says about how I am feeling right now, the clues are there.
Take care everyone
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow
Saturday, 15 August 2009
No Hiding
You will of noticed by now that my posts tend to mingle into one and another, that there are common elements in them all, this is very much representative of my life – there is a thread that binds all of the parts together. I watch people go through life looking for the next material target to show how happy their life is and how happy they are in it, I often find myself wondering if they are trying to prove this to themselves rather than others.
I have said it before and I will say it again, I am a simple man and I look at life in the most simplistic of ways. Even though you will never see my looking for the next representation of material wealth and happiness it doesn't mean that the outward projection isn't very different to the inward story. Which leads me to the actual reason for this latest post.
I value my family and friends above all in my life, I will always endeavour to put their best interests first, their happiness allows me to stroll through life knowing that I have done my best to make sure those that I care for don't have to whittle for me. In a day and age where everyone have so many worries why would I want to burden others further?
What is the most used lie in the English language? I will tell you, it is 'I'm alright', how many times do we say it when it is far from the truth for the sake of the 'wellbeing' of others..It has always been my stock reply, no-one needs to know details of how I am really feeling as they already have themselves to look out for, I am aware that there is already a contradiction here.
I was discovered a couple of days ago when an incident occurred that made me realise that instead of allaying worry for others in fact I am increasing it, I would of dismissed that concept if I hadn't seen it for myself. Alot of people who care for you know you as well as you know yourself. They recognise that little change in body language, the hesitation in your voice. When I am questioned to how I am and I dismiss with that 'harmless' little lie it becomes another piece of baggage for those close to me to carry while they wait for the inevitable collapse. Most won't bulldoze their way in forcing you into submission, they will wait patiently but with every passing moment their worry builds.
As a result I have reassessed the affect of that harmless lie, am I being fair by shrugging off the enquiries into my wellbeing for the mistaken belief that I am protecting those close, am I being fair to them and ultimately myself. Viewing it in the cold light of day the hypocrisy of the way I brush aside any concerns for myself is very real, I would never want to think that people did the same to 'protect' me although I don't doubt they do.
The reason we let people close to us is because we have a trust and belief in them so surely the minimum they deserve is honesty? The old adage is a problem shared is a problem halved, looking at that the fact that I shy away from sharing in some kind of stubborn pride now makes me wonder if a problem not shared is a problem doubled. Instead of having support from those very willing you have 2 separate parties worrying about the same, that surely isn't right.
This has turned out to be my longest ramble so far but I suppose what it boils down to is this – put your hand out someone will be there to take it, they are waiting for it to be outstretched.
Take care everyone
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
I have said it before and I will say it again, I am a simple man and I look at life in the most simplistic of ways. Even though you will never see my looking for the next representation of material wealth and happiness it doesn't mean that the outward projection isn't very different to the inward story. Which leads me to the actual reason for this latest post.
I value my family and friends above all in my life, I will always endeavour to put their best interests first, their happiness allows me to stroll through life knowing that I have done my best to make sure those that I care for don't have to whittle for me. In a day and age where everyone have so many worries why would I want to burden others further?
What is the most used lie in the English language? I will tell you, it is 'I'm alright', how many times do we say it when it is far from the truth for the sake of the 'wellbeing' of others..It has always been my stock reply, no-one needs to know details of how I am really feeling as they already have themselves to look out for, I am aware that there is already a contradiction here.
I was discovered a couple of days ago when an incident occurred that made me realise that instead of allaying worry for others in fact I am increasing it, I would of dismissed that concept if I hadn't seen it for myself. Alot of people who care for you know you as well as you know yourself. They recognise that little change in body language, the hesitation in your voice. When I am questioned to how I am and I dismiss with that 'harmless' little lie it becomes another piece of baggage for those close to me to carry while they wait for the inevitable collapse. Most won't bulldoze their way in forcing you into submission, they will wait patiently but with every passing moment their worry builds.
As a result I have reassessed the affect of that harmless lie, am I being fair by shrugging off the enquiries into my wellbeing for the mistaken belief that I am protecting those close, am I being fair to them and ultimately myself. Viewing it in the cold light of day the hypocrisy of the way I brush aside any concerns for myself is very real, I would never want to think that people did the same to 'protect' me although I don't doubt they do.
The reason we let people close to us is because we have a trust and belief in them so surely the minimum they deserve is honesty? The old adage is a problem shared is a problem halved, looking at that the fact that I shy away from sharing in some kind of stubborn pride now makes me wonder if a problem not shared is a problem doubled. Instead of having support from those very willing you have 2 separate parties worrying about the same, that surely isn't right.
This has turned out to be my longest ramble so far but I suppose what it boils down to is this – put your hand out someone will be there to take it, they are waiting for it to be outstretched.
Take care everyone
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
Lost in Interpretation
I have been writing this blog for 2 weeks now and during that time I have shared thousands of words with anyone that has taken the time to read, Reflecting on this has left me thinking about words, especially in this case the written form. Whatever I say here is for you to interpret as I can't give the written form any emotion, I can't guarantee you understand how they were meant when I put them down. Simply I have to believe that you know my meaning or that you can find a meaning that works for you.
How many words are in the English language? How many ways can a single sentence be interpreted? And importantly how many times are what is meant and what is understood the same? I would hazard a guess that the percentage is very low. Words can be a dangerous form of communication in certain circumstances with the absence actions and body language to fully demonstrate how they are meant.
As I was listening to Emiliana Torrini gently caressing me with her own words (I sound like a big girl, I know!) I began to realise how little can be understood through words alone, even in spoken form you can't be sure that there won't be something lost from the moment they leave someone's lips to the moment they are processed by your brain.
I am not the most articulate person when it comes to expressing myself vocally. I often feel that my thoughts are diluted by the time I form a sentence and by the time they are processed by another they will totally evaporate into the ether. My own hesitant nature means I dither and stumble through expression (very much like I am here), never clear in my own mind if I make the correct selections of words to illustrate myself which builds an inward frustration. I'm not an artist so I can't paint the picture that will say a thousand words, I have to cling onto the hope that my actions fill in the gaps, make up for my shortcomings – in short do my speaking for me.
The truth is words confuse and scare me, I know that sounds a little bit daft coming from someone that writes a blog but that is how it is. I have an ability some may say to make something read well, maybe even profound when the truth is I am just efficient at escaping what I really mean. But the other side of that is I wonder how well I understand what others say, I know I have a tendency to hope for meanings that aren't actually present, I am sure most of us have done the same. Every sentence has a gap for thought, a gap for hope and I wonder how many times I over analysis over complicating the simplest situations.
Before you think that I am going into a downward spiral of lack of self confidence and despair that isn't the case at all, the truth is that I realise I am not perfect, I have to work hard to make my true feelings known which is a lesson for us all, no-one is universally understood, we all need to help others and fill in the gaping holes that mere words leave exposed.
Words are only tools of expression, those near and dear can see you and will give you what you need to let all your inner thoughts out.
That's enough from me for tonight.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
How many words are in the English language? How many ways can a single sentence be interpreted? And importantly how many times are what is meant and what is understood the same? I would hazard a guess that the percentage is very low. Words can be a dangerous form of communication in certain circumstances with the absence actions and body language to fully demonstrate how they are meant.
As I was listening to Emiliana Torrini gently caressing me with her own words (I sound like a big girl, I know!) I began to realise how little can be understood through words alone, even in spoken form you can't be sure that there won't be something lost from the moment they leave someone's lips to the moment they are processed by your brain.
I am not the most articulate person when it comes to expressing myself vocally. I often feel that my thoughts are diluted by the time I form a sentence and by the time they are processed by another they will totally evaporate into the ether. My own hesitant nature means I dither and stumble through expression (very much like I am here), never clear in my own mind if I make the correct selections of words to illustrate myself which builds an inward frustration. I'm not an artist so I can't paint the picture that will say a thousand words, I have to cling onto the hope that my actions fill in the gaps, make up for my shortcomings – in short do my speaking for me.
The truth is words confuse and scare me, I know that sounds a little bit daft coming from someone that writes a blog but that is how it is. I have an ability some may say to make something read well, maybe even profound when the truth is I am just efficient at escaping what I really mean. But the other side of that is I wonder how well I understand what others say, I know I have a tendency to hope for meanings that aren't actually present, I am sure most of us have done the same. Every sentence has a gap for thought, a gap for hope and I wonder how many times I over analysis over complicating the simplest situations.
Before you think that I am going into a downward spiral of lack of self confidence and despair that isn't the case at all, the truth is that I realise I am not perfect, I have to work hard to make my true feelings known which is a lesson for us all, no-one is universally understood, we all need to help others and fill in the gaping holes that mere words leave exposed.
Words are only tools of expression, those near and dear can see you and will give you what you need to let all your inner thoughts out.
That's enough from me for tonight.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Friday, 7 August 2009
Blow Out The Candles
The weekend is upon on us once more, another week of summer has passed with a deluge of rain, mugginess and disgruntled muttering from all and sundry – myself included. That is as far as I am going to go down the road of darkness in the post, for once. I actually have a purpose for what I am writing today. Anyone that has read my meandering rambles before knows that is a rare, I tend to stumble across the point of posts rather than already having the destination in mind – today is different.
Even during this quite frankly dreadful summer (4 days of unbroken sun and counting) I have had a positive that has run for the duration, that positive is someone that seemingly appeared from nowhere and in a relatively short period of time has become a constant companion.
To pre-warn you I shall be using clichés in the next paragraph.
In totally random circumstances I found a friend that is like my right hand, the other half of my brain (trust me that is scary at points). We are like like the proverbial two peas in a pod, to anyone that saw us together they would make the presumption that we have known each other forever and a day, I even have to remind myself that isn't the case. This sort of friendship can't be created and that day we met the sun was truly shining down on me. If you think I ramble in my blogs it is nothing compared to how I can be in the flesh when I have something on my mind / have something to share. My dear friend hasn't been put off by this probably a sign she has a screw or two lose (it is true!) in fact she has positively encouraged it, for this I am eternally grateful.
Before she reads this and comments about it not being one way, I know that for any friendship to work and become something worth cherishing there has to have equilibrium. Anyway let me try and get this back on track and get to my point (I remember I said I had a point to this). The other day she took me by surprise, a very pleasant surprise which has without doubt has been the highlight of a dreary week, I said that I would get my own back to be informed that I wouldn't be able to, that in my language is a challenge!
I'm not naturally competitive but this is a way of killing two birds with one stone (sorry about the cliches, I did warn you!)
Tomorrow is my dear friends birthday, I am not the greatest at grand gestures being a humble simple man this is my way of saying thankyou and wishing her all the best on her special day. It may not be shiny, it may not make peoples jaw drop in amazement but I feel it is highly appropriate.
We walk many miles and meet many people on the journey of life but only a few stop you in your tracks and make you feel that you have been given one of the most precious gifts possible. That is what I have been given, I haven't baked a cake but I do present a representation of me.
Look out the window, you may see the rain but think of all that you have and you will see you have plenty of sunshine in your life.
Take care everyone.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
P.S. I think I may of won the challenge, what do you think?
Even during this quite frankly dreadful summer (4 days of unbroken sun and counting) I have had a positive that has run for the duration, that positive is someone that seemingly appeared from nowhere and in a relatively short period of time has become a constant companion.
To pre-warn you I shall be using clichés in the next paragraph.
In totally random circumstances I found a friend that is like my right hand, the other half of my brain (trust me that is scary at points). We are like like the proverbial two peas in a pod, to anyone that saw us together they would make the presumption that we have known each other forever and a day, I even have to remind myself that isn't the case. This sort of friendship can't be created and that day we met the sun was truly shining down on me. If you think I ramble in my blogs it is nothing compared to how I can be in the flesh when I have something on my mind / have something to share. My dear friend hasn't been put off by this probably a sign she has a screw or two lose (it is true!) in fact she has positively encouraged it, for this I am eternally grateful.
Before she reads this and comments about it not being one way, I know that for any friendship to work and become something worth cherishing there has to have equilibrium. Anyway let me try and get this back on track and get to my point (I remember I said I had a point to this). The other day she took me by surprise, a very pleasant surprise which has without doubt has been the highlight of a dreary week, I said that I would get my own back to be informed that I wouldn't be able to, that in my language is a challenge!
I'm not naturally competitive but this is a way of killing two birds with one stone (sorry about the cliches, I did warn you!)
Tomorrow is my dear friends birthday, I am not the greatest at grand gestures being a humble simple man this is my way of saying thankyou and wishing her all the best on her special day. It may not be shiny, it may not make peoples jaw drop in amazement but I feel it is highly appropriate.
We walk many miles and meet many people on the journey of life but only a few stop you in your tracks and make you feel that you have been given one of the most precious gifts possible. That is what I have been given, I haven't baked a cake but I do present a representation of me.
Look out the window, you may see the rain but think of all that you have and you will see you have plenty of sunshine in your life.
Take care everyone.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
P.S. I think I may of won the challenge, what do you think?
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
Animal Instinct
Charles Darwin theorised that mankind descended from apes, looking at how he came to that conclusion it is easy to see the logic behind the thinking. It explains perfectly how our outer shells and basic functionalities are formed but it doesn't address how we developed emotionally as individuals and the traits we carry with us throughout life.
As I look at my actions it gets me to thinking of how I can relate them back to the animal kingdom, in my case I look at the tortoise, perhaps evolution has a lot to answer for. Like my friend the tortoise I have a tendency to retreat when approached by something that I am fearful of in the hope that I won't be noticed and the danger will pass. Unfortunately I don't have the same protective shelter therefore eventually I have to face my fears, step forward, assess the full picture that is before me, both the light and dark and work out the safest passage through it.
The slow deliberate pace of the tortoise is another trait that surfaces in me, in my case it appears in the form of my thought process rather than my movement, taking and breaking down every piece of information that I see until I can fully digest it and know what to do with it.
The big difference between me and the tortoise is that my environment is forever evolving, despite what I said previously about lacking the shelter from fear that the tortoise has that isn't true, I am protected by those that appear in my life to help me along the road of discovery, some come in unannounced without explanation and some are always present. The people I have met on my journey thus far have ensured that my evolution as a person has never stopped and will continue for my entire lifetime.
The tortoise lives for a long time but its characteristics never change, I however like you will never stop changing. If I was to compare myself directly to the person that I was 5 years there would be a stark contrast, granted my major traits have never altered but they have become less overpowering because we are complex beings, tiny little changes in our life, the growth of emotional understanding, the appreciation of what those present in our life offer us influence the next step we take – the person we become.
There could never be a blueprint for mankind because of the fact that until we have lived today we don't know what choice we will make tomorrow. My outlook has changed so much with each passing year as I learn a little more, where this path will take me I can never be sure, although I mention fear it doesn't have to be a negative it can be that light that guides us to somewhere where we may of never trod before.
I look at the tortoise, do I want to stay the same for a lifetime or do I want to embrace the journey? Darwin didn't have any answers only theory, no-one can give us the answers we seek but they can and will ensure our path is never the same and a journey to be embraced.
The next step of our evolution is our next choice.
Good night.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
As I look at my actions it gets me to thinking of how I can relate them back to the animal kingdom, in my case I look at the tortoise, perhaps evolution has a lot to answer for. Like my friend the tortoise I have a tendency to retreat when approached by something that I am fearful of in the hope that I won't be noticed and the danger will pass. Unfortunately I don't have the same protective shelter therefore eventually I have to face my fears, step forward, assess the full picture that is before me, both the light and dark and work out the safest passage through it.
The slow deliberate pace of the tortoise is another trait that surfaces in me, in my case it appears in the form of my thought process rather than my movement, taking and breaking down every piece of information that I see until I can fully digest it and know what to do with it.
The big difference between me and the tortoise is that my environment is forever evolving, despite what I said previously about lacking the shelter from fear that the tortoise has that isn't true, I am protected by those that appear in my life to help me along the road of discovery, some come in unannounced without explanation and some are always present. The people I have met on my journey thus far have ensured that my evolution as a person has never stopped and will continue for my entire lifetime.
The tortoise lives for a long time but its characteristics never change, I however like you will never stop changing. If I was to compare myself directly to the person that I was 5 years there would be a stark contrast, granted my major traits have never altered but they have become less overpowering because we are complex beings, tiny little changes in our life, the growth of emotional understanding, the appreciation of what those present in our life offer us influence the next step we take – the person we become.
There could never be a blueprint for mankind because of the fact that until we have lived today we don't know what choice we will make tomorrow. My outlook has changed so much with each passing year as I learn a little more, where this path will take me I can never be sure, although I mention fear it doesn't have to be a negative it can be that light that guides us to somewhere where we may of never trod before.
I look at the tortoise, do I want to stay the same for a lifetime or do I want to embrace the journey? Darwin didn't have any answers only theory, no-one can give us the answers we seek but they can and will ensure our path is never the same and a journey to be embraced.
The next step of our evolution is our next choice.
Good night.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Sunday, 2 August 2009
A View From The Outside
Once more I am ponderous, after 2 days where I have swung from 1 feeling to another I am trying to regain the ground that I know that I am happy on once more. Finding that safe state where I know that I can recover, collect myself and move forward once more
Understanding yourself is one thing but actually knowing how to treat yourself in a manner that is best for you is quite another. Maybe I am an oddity, actually I don't doubt that I am an oddity but the way that I let my actions betray my heart leave me quite bewildered when I step back and view the wreckage within.
Putting people before myself is what I know, it is quite possibly noble but is it right? If we never give ourselves the respect and honesty that each individual deserves surely we are losing out and treating ourselves as second class citizens. I know without doubt I would never treat others like I treat myself at times, with these double standards I dish out in dollops convincing myself that I am happy to go along for the ride down a murky tunnel where my screams become inward and the echoes only reverberate around my head.
I have a nod and smile policy which for many a year has served me like a friend but the truth is that it is really a dark and dangerous foe. The best way of describing the way I can be is that it is the equivalent of ordering chicken and chips when what I really want is roast beef, how ridiculous does that sound? Staring back at the words that now confront me I shake my head and start to wonder when I became so foolhardy.
Fact is the fear of disappointing others restricts us all although it shouldn't, those near and dear would never want us to deny ourselves a happy place, a place where we are satisfying both our head and heart. The ultimate test of what you have is showing how you truly feel, denial will only eat you up and like 'bad back syndrome' no-one can see what happens inside without you expressing it in words and actions.
This has turned out to be a long monologue of self help, for that I apologise but maybe you can see elements that are common in both myself and you. We are, we feel, we have to be true. Today is a sunny day, a new day and a new opportunity to do right for myself.
Take care everyone.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Understanding yourself is one thing but actually knowing how to treat yourself in a manner that is best for you is quite another. Maybe I am an oddity, actually I don't doubt that I am an oddity but the way that I let my actions betray my heart leave me quite bewildered when I step back and view the wreckage within.
Putting people before myself is what I know, it is quite possibly noble but is it right? If we never give ourselves the respect and honesty that each individual deserves surely we are losing out and treating ourselves as second class citizens. I know without doubt I would never treat others like I treat myself at times, with these double standards I dish out in dollops convincing myself that I am happy to go along for the ride down a murky tunnel where my screams become inward and the echoes only reverberate around my head.
I have a nod and smile policy which for many a year has served me like a friend but the truth is that it is really a dark and dangerous foe. The best way of describing the way I can be is that it is the equivalent of ordering chicken and chips when what I really want is roast beef, how ridiculous does that sound? Staring back at the words that now confront me I shake my head and start to wonder when I became so foolhardy.
Fact is the fear of disappointing others restricts us all although it shouldn't, those near and dear would never want us to deny ourselves a happy place, a place where we are satisfying both our head and heart. The ultimate test of what you have is showing how you truly feel, denial will only eat you up and like 'bad back syndrome' no-one can see what happens inside without you expressing it in words and actions.
This has turned out to be a long monologue of self help, for that I apologise but maybe you can see elements that are common in both myself and you. We are, we feel, we have to be true. Today is a sunny day, a new day and a new opportunity to do right for myself.
Take care everyone.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Mirror Images
I promised rambling when I started this blog and today I shall be delivering just that, I would like to say that this is part of some literary masterplan but alas it isn't. Some days we plod aimlessly with a jumble of thoughts in our head and heart that we can't decipher – today is one of those days. On days like these I write to try and gain some kind of sense of where I am and what is happening, I guess I am inviting you to listen to me think out loud.
A thought crossed my mind earlier influenced by something a friend had written, that was - everyone is unique therefore we are all the same, I wouldn't be completely surprised if that only made any semblance of sense to myself so I shall endeavour to explain.
Every person has the same basic needs however they may manifest themselves, the person next to you has the same need to be loved; to be nourished and possibly most importantly to be understood. It appears that the majority already 'know' someone by whatever label they can put on them – if that is the case there is very little need for the art of conversation and social interaction we should lock ourselves into separate little units, we already know everyone don't we?
I don't know about you but I am not about to put into a box and cut off from the rest of mankind, I want people to find out who I am and why I am unique, what makes me different from them which in turn is the common thread that unites us. If it wasn't for the fact that no two people have the same characteristics there would be nothing to discover, no journey and a major reason for existence would disappear.
Have you experienced talking to someone that you never met before but felt like they already knew you completely? I have and it kicks in an avalanche of emotions, the overriding sense of relief that someone understands without explanation to me it is one of the ultimate experiences you can encounter. If there is a Utopia it is finding the people that take the time to see beyond the exterior, dig deep and see the treasure that is deep inside of all of us.
You are like me, I am like you – if we like it or not. The next time you pass someone and tag them in your head without giving them a moments thought imagine how you would feel if that was you, we all want to be known for the person we are not the shell we wear.
Thankyou for your time, you have been with me on a ramble where even I didn't know the destination; you trusted me hopefully you will take that trust outside and discover new people as well as those you already know.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow
Good night
A thought crossed my mind earlier influenced by something a friend had written, that was - everyone is unique therefore we are all the same, I wouldn't be completely surprised if that only made any semblance of sense to myself so I shall endeavour to explain.
Every person has the same basic needs however they may manifest themselves, the person next to you has the same need to be loved; to be nourished and possibly most importantly to be understood. It appears that the majority already 'know' someone by whatever label they can put on them – if that is the case there is very little need for the art of conversation and social interaction we should lock ourselves into separate little units, we already know everyone don't we?
I don't know about you but I am not about to put into a box and cut off from the rest of mankind, I want people to find out who I am and why I am unique, what makes me different from them which in turn is the common thread that unites us. If it wasn't for the fact that no two people have the same characteristics there would be nothing to discover, no journey and a major reason for existence would disappear.
Have you experienced talking to someone that you never met before but felt like they already knew you completely? I have and it kicks in an avalanche of emotions, the overriding sense of relief that someone understands without explanation to me it is one of the ultimate experiences you can encounter. If there is a Utopia it is finding the people that take the time to see beyond the exterior, dig deep and see the treasure that is deep inside of all of us.
You are like me, I am like you – if we like it or not. The next time you pass someone and tag them in your head without giving them a moments thought imagine how you would feel if that was you, we all want to be known for the person we are not the shell we wear.
Thankyou for your time, you have been with me on a ramble where even I didn't know the destination; you trusted me hopefully you will take that trust outside and discover new people as well as those you already know.
Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow
Good night
Monday, 27 July 2009
Hurtling in a Tin Can
I should begin by saying happy Monday to you all, happy Monday! Now that is out of the way I presume it is safe to proceed with my first entry on my shiny new page. Do you like it? I am quite impressed with it myself although I may have to get the decorators in at some point. Any suggestions for improvements please put them in the comments, I will consider them all (if I actually do anything about them is an entirely different subject).
Yesterday I was making my way back to the right side of the Watford Gap after a weekend in The South hurtling at a ridiculous speed in a tin can (I believe they call it the tube), as always in these situations I began to wonder why do we have to do things so fast? Is it really necessary to rush around like the world will end imminently?
Slowing down a notch quite obviously is going to have a major impact on your life - it may mean you have to leave your home 7 minutes earlier to allow time to get to work! But consider it for a second, humour me. Imagine in this day and age actually communicating with people face to face, knowing people by name and noticing things! When was the last time you slowed down enough to take in your surroundings?
We develop by learning but how can we learn when we don't allow ourselves the time to appreciate the greatest source of knowledge that there is – others. We all have our own journey, each of us taking a different road so it stands to reason listening to one and other to exchange experiences is only going to enrich us. Maybe my meandering ways are lackadaisical and I should be more focused like the majority, bypassing what surrounds me but this has never been my way as a result I believe I have reaped the benefits.
The fact is time is short, we achieve no more by rushing through life rather than walking through at a pace that allows us to savour what surrounds us. The quicker you travel through life the more it passes you by, that is my my humble opinion anyway.
If this the affect going the wrong side of the Watford Gap has on me maybe I should do it less often.
Until next time take a steady stroll, you may enjoy it.
Enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow, as always.
Yesterday I was making my way back to the right side of the Watford Gap after a weekend in The South hurtling at a ridiculous speed in a tin can (I believe they call it the tube), as always in these situations I began to wonder why do we have to do things so fast? Is it really necessary to rush around like the world will end imminently?
Slowing down a notch quite obviously is going to have a major impact on your life - it may mean you have to leave your home 7 minutes earlier to allow time to get to work! But consider it for a second, humour me. Imagine in this day and age actually communicating with people face to face, knowing people by name and noticing things! When was the last time you slowed down enough to take in your surroundings?
We develop by learning but how can we learn when we don't allow ourselves the time to appreciate the greatest source of knowledge that there is – others. We all have our own journey, each of us taking a different road so it stands to reason listening to one and other to exchange experiences is only going to enrich us. Maybe my meandering ways are lackadaisical and I should be more focused like the majority, bypassing what surrounds me but this has never been my way as a result I believe I have reaped the benefits.
The fact is time is short, we achieve no more by rushing through life rather than walking through at a pace that allows us to savour what surrounds us. The quicker you travel through life the more it passes you by, that is my my humble opinion anyway.
If this the affect going the wrong side of the Watford Gap has on me maybe I should do it less often.
Until next time take a steady stroll, you may enjoy it.
Enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow, as always.
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