No Hiding

You will of noticed by now that my posts tend to mingle into one and another, that there are common elements in them all, this is very much representative of my life – there is a thread that binds all of the parts together. I watch people go through life looking for the next material target to show how happy their life is and how happy they are in it, I often find myself wondering if they are trying to prove this to themselves rather than others.

I have said it before and I will say it again, I am a simple man and I look at life in the most simplistic of ways. Even though you will never see my looking for the next representation of material wealth and happiness it doesn't mean that the outward projection isn't very different to the inward story. Which leads me to the actual reason for this latest post.

I value my family and friends above all in my life, I will always endeavour to put their best interests first, their happiness allows me to stroll through life knowing that I have done my best to make sure those that I care for don't have to whittle for me. In a day and age where everyone have so many worries why would I want to burden others further?

What is the most used lie in the English language? I will tell you, it is 'I'm alright', how many times do we say it when it is far from the truth for the sake of the 'wellbeing' of others..It has always been my stock reply, no-one needs to know details of how I am really feeling as they already have themselves to look out for, I am aware that there is already a contradiction here.

I was discovered a couple of days ago when an incident occurred that made me realise that instead of allaying worry for others in fact I am increasing it, I would of dismissed that concept if I hadn't seen it for myself. Alot of people who care for you know you as well as you know yourself. They recognise that little change in body language, the hesitation in your voice. When I am questioned to how I am and I dismiss with that 'harmless' little lie it becomes another piece of baggage for those close to me to carry while they wait for the inevitable collapse. Most won't bulldoze their way in forcing you into submission, they will wait patiently but with every passing moment their worry builds.

As a result I have reassessed the affect of that harmless lie, am I being fair by shrugging off the enquiries into my wellbeing for the mistaken belief that I am protecting those close, am I being fair to them and ultimately myself. Viewing it in the cold light of day the hypocrisy of the way I brush aside any concerns for myself is very real, I would never want to think that people did the same to 'protect' me although I don't doubt they do.

The reason we let people close to us is because we have a trust and belief in them so surely the minimum they deserve is honesty? The old adage is a problem shared is a problem halved, looking at that the fact that I shy away from sharing in some kind of stubborn pride now makes me wonder if a problem not shared is a problem doubled. Instead of having support from those very willing you have 2 separate parties worrying about the same, that surely isn't right.

This has turned out to be my longest ramble so far but I suppose what it boils down to is this – put your hand out someone will be there to take it, they are waiting for it to be outstretched.

Take care everyone

Enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow.